RealityRamblings

i wish i could go back to late april or the entire month of may. that way, i could avoid everything that occurred and things would be the same. i would’ve never experienced crazy happiness only to be let down hard. life would be so much easier if i could change may. everything that went down in may i’m not ok with. if only i could change it, swallow my pride and sort it all out with those that i thought meant the most to me i could be looking at a different life. i’m not so sure i would want that though. i’m content with how things are right now with certain people. i had hopes for may, but once again i got let down. i should be used to this type of thing, but naturally i’m not. its crazy that a friendship of two years and a fling of three weeks all ended in a single week. i knew the friendship was gone, but it seemed that may just finalized it all. would i really want to be friends with you again and be terribly miserable..no, probably not. but there are still certain things that i do, or places that i go to, or music that comes up on the radio that bring back those memories of that brilliant friendship that ended so sourly. we never even had a falling out, it just seemed gradual. we fell apart and away from each other and never cared to put the pieces back.

i wish i could’ve changed may, but instead, may changed me.