Never play with a girl who can play 100x better.

Rules

Just to help some of you clueless fools out:
  1. Don't play with a girl who can play better.
  2. STOP being clingy. Really, we hate it. Leave us alone and give us some space.
  3. Just because she's not talkative doesn't mean she's mad, just that she's busy/focused/stressed/annoyed.
  4. Lying is unacceptable, along with cheating.
  5. You want to know the way to a girl's heart: Pssst, here's the secret: Talk to her, ask her how her day went, make actual conversation.
  6. If you're going to initiate a conversation, don't start it off with something dirty. We really don't enjoy talking/sexting dirty. It's uncomfortable.
  7. Call us. Texting is a lame excuse for a conversation.
  8. If you like us, ask us out. Don't pull the "whenever you want to hang out" card. Make plans.
  9. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
  10. "Talking" is bullshit, along with "friends with benefits."
  11. Don't make a move unless you're going to follow through.
  12. Pet names are nice when they aren't overused.
  13. Don't talk to our friends about the problems between us. Leave friends out of it.
  14. Don't move too fast, but don't be a turtle.
  15. Stop comparing us to every chick with tits you know. It's aggravating, immature, and brings our self confidence down.

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Invisible Children Can't Stay Invisible.

My school has come to completely upset me. Not because of the people or the teachers, but because of the administration and campus ministry. The Christian Leadership class during Lent challenged the school to raise $20,000 for clean water in various third world countries. Now, I'm completely for helping out those who are less fortunate than us, but why are we starting another fund to give money to when we're dedicated the last three years of my high school and years before me to Invisible Children. I feel as a student I am much more compelled to fighting the idea of child soldiers and the LRA rather than raise $20,000 to donate to clean water. Please don't get me wrong that I'm a cynic who doesn't understand that clean water is necessary for every human being to survive, because I do, I really get it. But the Christian Leadership class didn't even present to the school what fund we were donating to, where exactly and what the money was going to be specifically used for. I would've felt ten times for compelled to donate if I had all these facts spelled out for me. Sadly, they weren't and the constant asking for money seemed a little to much to a student who's parents pay the full tuition of $8,500 times two for her sister as well. The administration attempted to bribe the students with chocolate and other incentives for donating, yet I cannot recall when the winners were announced for the other incentives besides the chocolate.
My freshman and sophomore year the school community as a whole was completely dedicated to the Invisible Children. The Campus Ministry planned various events, such as screenings of Invisible Children and DisplaceME Day. DisplaceMe Day was probably the most eye opening experience I've had in the past three years, besides elfing at Metro Catholic. DisplaceMe Day happened in April of my freshman year. You were only allowed to bring what you could fit into a garbage bag, you could only wear the clothes that were on your back, and your only shelter for the night was the cardboard boxes supplied by the school. No food and water besides the traditional African food that was prepared for us by Campus Ministry. We had a "hut" which was the only other form of shelter that protected us from the "elements." Once everyone arrived, it was a beautiful night, that is, until it started pouring rain. We all made our fun, we even had a slip 'n slide made out of plastic. Although the Campus Ministry wouldn't let us sleep outside, we still slept in incredibly uncomfortable conditions; all the girls at DisplaceMe Day were smushed into a classroom. We were able to go to bed a 1am and forced to get up at 7am to pray and clean up, because "The child soldiers had to leave the area they slept in ASAP in order to not be captured by the LRA." I've never had a more eye opening experience than that night in April. I've begged the Campus Ministry to continue hosting DisplaceME Day, but they say its a "liability." What's a liability? Letting students see for themselves how much they actually have? Letting us realize how truly blessed we are for living in a free country? Having us experience what a day is in the life of a child solider or a child refugee? Come on now NDCL, this is absurd. Pat of our mission statement states, "Like Mary who gave Christ to the world, NDCL prepares leaders who transform the world by doing the truth in love." Doing the truth in love how? We're not being socially conscious of all the heartbreaking events going on around the world. We need to take a stand for the children's sake and Uganda's sake.



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love.

"Someone once told me that true love
is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
And I think that that's a very rare thing in this world."

what is love?
where can we find it?
what's it like to have an undefinable love with someone else?
is it even possible to have that level of trust with someone else?
do you want love?
have you found it?
ever have someone you never got sick of loving?
i'm not talking about puppy love,
i'm talking about the "i got your back love, forever."
how did you take that leap--that huge leap of faith in a single person
and give yourself to them?


if you have, i admire you.




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no one really ever wins.


i don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight,
let's just just fix this whole thing now
i swear to God we're going to get it right,
if you put your weapon down.
red wine and ambien,
you're talking shit again.
it's heartbreak warfare.
good to know it's all a game,
disappointment has a name:
it's heartbreak warfare.

that's all folks.

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10 things you never knew about me... (until now)

1. My favorite color is cucumber green. Not green, not forest green, not lime green, not kelley green. Cucumber green. Get it right.
2. I'm completely content with the age I'm at now. Eighteen's scary, sixteen's idiotic, but seventeen feels just right.
3. The only way to my heart is through my head. Be my friend, talk to me, flirt, but please don't get overly sexual in your talk/texting. It's getting old and quite frankly will just make me dislike you.
4. I'm an insomniac. I have the hardest time falling asleep but my iPod tends to help out alot.
5. I forgive but never forget. Now, this isn't holding grudges, its being realistic.
6. I wish I didn't waste the first two years of high school trying to please everyone.
7. I have two regrets in my life.
8. Can you play guitar? I'll fall in love with you.
9. Look at the stars with me sometime, we can be friends.
10. I'm not the same girl you used to know.



Photobucket

3 comments

friends, lovers or nothing; there's no in-between.

sometimes, i wish i was the weather...
So my birthday was on Thursday and normally I dislike turning another year older. I woke up and was getting ready, naturally listening to John Mayer, when "Stop This Train" came up on my iPod. Finally it hit me, I've got another year till I'm off to college, leaving everything I've known behind for a brand new "world." Gosh, I immediately broke down right then and there, in the middle of my bedroom and started bawling my eyes out. (Although I feel as if my inability to pick out an outfit for lunch and my sister being annoying probably had something to do with it.) I felt so vulnerable in that single instant. I can't explain why I felt so down and so scared, but its not the first time its happened to me either. On the other hand, I was excited for lunch and for all the birthday wishes people sent to me. It ended up being a great birthday; Lisa and Tony seriously pulled through on the gifts this year. I feel so grateful for everything my parents do for me, and I hope I show it to them.

What do you do when the one person you expect to remember your birthday blatantly ignores that fact that it's your birthday? Well for me, I make excuses on behalf of that person. Perhaps their phone wasn't working, perhaps they were going to and then fell asleep, perhaps their computer broke, etc. I could come up with millions of reasons, but none of them were the truth and I knew it. It's not like I could blame the fact that we were "new friends" and it was just overlooked. We go way back. We had that type of friendship that you don't just "forget" the other person's birthday. That's just how its supposed to be. So now I question myself on my better judgement again. Stay or go? Stay or go? Stay or go? That's the constant question that's on my mind. Yet, through all this debating with myself, I can't bring myself to leave nor commit to staying. I'm on that in-between level that is undefinable.
"If I were to walk, I'd surely walk away, if I wasn't suck a sucker for you."
I've got so many options, yet I stay with the one that makes me fight for what I want. Don't ask me why, I can't even figure it out.



On another, lighter note, JOHN MAYER is in 123 days. Yeah folks, that's it. ONLY 123 more days. Oh, tickets on sale MONDAY! I was talking to one of my best friends, Liz, about John Mayer, and she made the comment, "I know it sounds so cheesy, but it's seriously like a dream come true to me and you. I mean we've been talking about John Mayer and going to a concert since freshman year." That's right Liz, "dream come true" definitely. This show will be without a doubt better to me than any Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, Britney Spears, etc. concert.
To leave you guys with, here's a "rare" John song that I finally found to download.

enjoy!



Dirty Version ^


Clean Version^



...you'd bring me up in conversation forever,
and when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day

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anything but mine.


My parents decided to surprise me yesterday with an early birthday present, Cavs tickets. Naturally I told my dad that he was taking me since that's all I've wanted was to actually become closer to my dad. I wanted one of those "Daddy's girl" relationships for the longest time, and hopefully its finally starting... Anyways, I had fun. Just my dad and me, finally "bonding," joking about the dumb old ladies sitting next to us who had no idea what was going on. We share a hatred for Bosh and Turkoglu, we argue about Jamison (I dislike but he likes), and we both agree that we want playoff tickets with amazing seats. As we were walking back to the car (which we parked about ten minutes away from the Q), we were talking about the weather and we we're playing the Prius game. (Side note: Its like the VW Beetle game, only with Prius' since they're a cooler car and I want one eventually. Lisa can't play the game since she doesn't know what a Prius even looks like.) The gamed ended up being I hit my dad with whatever car I can identify (Civic, Camry, Corolla, Escape, Forte, Sienna, Rav4, Tundra, etc.) and he just laughs and sarcastically threatens me he'll get me back soon.
Cleveland is the most beautiful city in the world, don't try to prove me wrong. There's such an energy that gets over looked, it's a shame.
I want to live in Tremont and be able to walk the city streets and just take in the city. Naturally my dad thinks I'm crazy and refuses to let me dream I'll live there one day. Once we get to the car and starting making our way home, lo and behold we've got a flat tire. Needless to say, this was close to the highlight of my night. We were in such a sketchy neighborhood my dad told me to stay locked in the car and watch for people. I've never seen someone change a flat tire as fast as my dad did. We got back into the car, listened to Kenny Chesney the entire ride home, windows down. This brought back memories of the summer at Myrtle Beach, which is my favorite place in the entire world. That's the only music we listened to for the entire 12 hour drive. I've got the CD memorized. We were close to home, my feet were hanging out of the car window, and I was singing "Summertime" and "Anything but Mine" and I finally realized something. Even though everything has fallen apart with my friends, I've got my family and my best friend still standing by me. The new girls I'm friends with are hilarious; I can't believe I've never even attempted to be friends with them before now. I've burned bridges, and hurt others, but I'm trying to make amends. The one person I'm trying so hard with thinks I'm kidding when I say I miss him, so I'm close to giving up. I can't keep living in the past, waiting for a possibility when I have a guarantee somewhere else.



Life's about choices. You've gotta look out for yourself before others. Why? No one else will. It's not selfish, its called protecting yourself.





you are, anything but mine.

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