sometimes, i wish i was the weather...
So my birthday was on Thursday and normally I dislike turning another year older. I woke up and was getting ready, naturally listening to John Mayer, when "Stop This Train" came up on my iPod. Finally it hit me, I've got another year till I'm off to college, leaving everything I've known behind for a brand new "world." Gosh, I immediately broke down right then and there, in the middle of my bedroom and started bawling my eyes out. (Although I feel as if my inability to pick out an outfit for lunch and my sister being annoying probably had something to do with it.) I felt so vulnerable in that single instant. I can't explain why I felt so down and so scared, but its not the first time its happened to me either. On the other hand, I was excited for lunch and for all the birthday wishes people sent to me. It ended up being a great birthday; Lisa and Tony seriously pulled through on the gifts this year. I feel so grateful for everything my parents do for me, and I hope I show it to them.
What do you do when the one person you expect to remember your birthday blatantly ignores that fact that it's your birthday? Well for me, I make excuses on behalf of that person. Perhaps their phone wasn't working, perhaps they were going to and then fell asleep, perhaps their computer broke, etc. I could come up with millions of reasons, but none of them were the truth and I knew it. It's not like I could blame the fact that we were "new friends" and it was just overlooked. We go way back. We had that type of friendship that you don't just "forget" the other person's birthday. That's just how its supposed to be. So now I question myself on my better judgement again. Stay or go? Stay or go? Stay or go? That's the constant question that's on my mind. Yet, through all this debating with myself, I can't bring myself to leave nor commit to staying. I'm on that in-between level that is undefinable.
"If I were to walk, I'd surely walk away, if I wasn't suck a sucker for you."
I've got so many options, yet I stay with the one that makes me fight for what I want. Don't ask me why, I can't even figure it out.
On another, lighter note, JOHN MAYER is in 123 days. Yeah folks, that's it. ONLY 123 more days. Oh, tickets on sale MONDAY! I was talking to one of my best friends, Liz, about John Mayer, and she made the comment, "I know it sounds so cheesy, but it's seriously like a dream come true to me and you. I mean we've been talking about John Mayer and going to a concert since freshman year." That's right Liz, "dream come true" definitely. This show will be without a doubt better to me than any Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, Britney Spears, etc. concert.
To leave you guys with, here's a "rare" John song that I finally found to download.
enjoy!
Dirty Version ^
Clean Version^
...you'd bring me up in conversation forever,
and when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day
and when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day
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